Surprise me not

Majority of the people I know love surprises. I don’t. Sorry for being a party pooper but I really don’t like it. I don’t like being blind sighted by something or someone. Maybe if I had an inkling or have thought of that possibility happening, it wouldn’t be that bad. But if that possibility didn’t even cross my mind, I would have a hard time coming to grips with it. Yes, whether good or bad. Nice surprises are great —- after the initial shock, that is. My mind has to first grasp the idea that it happened and come to terms with it then I would welcome it with open arms. Of course, I would have preferred that feelers were set-out prior to it happening.

Maybe my aversion to surprises comes from the fact that I don’t like change. I know —- the only thing constant in this world is change (such irony); for progress, change is inevitable. Yada, yada, yada…. I have already accepted those realities but it doesn’t mean I have to like them.

I don’t like my boat being rocked. I like things still and constant. It gives me a sense of security. It’s my comfort zone — my territory. When things don’t change, I know how things are, what will or can happen, who or what I can depend on. In short, I know how to deal. And when things change, even if it’s for the better, I have to adjust. Many new factors will be added to situation. I have to re-evaluate things, people and scenarios again. No, I’m not O.C though I think I have some “control” issues.

I admit, sometimes, I purposely bring about those changes into my life. But you can be assured I have already thought of the worst things that could happen. So if and when they do happen, I have no one to blame but myself and you can bet your bottom dollar I already have a back-up or escape plan. But most of the time, changes happen in my life because of outside forces I have no control over. And that’s where my biggest hurdle lies. I know the only thing I can do is to adapt, and I will. Just give me time.