Disturbing Dream

Gotta have faith

Instant gratification - Delayed mortification

Instant noodles, instant coffee, instant messaging, instant approval. Everything's instant nowadays. Maybe, that's why nobody knows the art of being patient anymore. But have you ever heard of instant gratification - delayed mortification? If we get the things we want now, we will regret it later on. If we always want instant gratification, we have a low EQ (emotional quotient). Remember, the marshmallow experiment? We should learn to think things through. We should not always give in to our basic instinct. We are rational beings, we should learn to weigh the pros and cons of our would be actions. We should learn the distinction if we are getting what we really want or we are giving up an opportunity to have something better in the future.

Tried and Tested Tips

• If you want to immediately stop crying, stare at yourself in the mirror. You will be such a sight for sore eyes, your tear ducts will stop working.
• If you want to be devoid of all feeling (escape emotional hurt and pain), watch a bunch of dvds or do a tv marathon. It ain't called an idiot box for nothing.
• If you are sleepy and want to have a quick wake me upper (and you're not a coffee drinker), drink a very cold glass of milk — straight up!
• In a drinking session, never drink vodka and tequila together. Lest you want to have a night you will never forget (or can't ever remember).
• To get over a hang-over, drink lots of tomato juice (bleh!)
• When smoking tobacco, never ever inhale the smoke into your lungs (hithit-buga lang).

Pretensions

my heart breaks when i think of you
my heart breaks when i'm reminded of you
my heart breaks when i miss you
my heart breaks when i need you

i have to pretend i'm ok
i have to pretend i'm not hurting
i have to pretend i'm strong
i have to pretend as if nothing's wrong

in time, i will be fine
in time, i will carry on
in time, the pain will go away
in time, i will know why

for now, i am hurting
for now, i am dealing
for now, i am coping
i am so busy pretending

Denial is not a river in Egypt

I'm in denial. Being in denial means knowing what the truth of the matter is but refusing to acknowledge or accept it. It is fooling or deceiving oneself in believing otherwise. You don't have to condition yourself to be in denial. It just happens like a reflex kicking in. They say being in denial is bad for one's mental health because you are altering your perception of reality. But for me, it is just a defense mechanism. It helps me cope, deal and function. It helps to block out the sudden rush of pain like a morphine drip. Being in denial is like having an amnesia. It is rarely pathological and no matter how long it takes, you will come out of it — but not like waking up from a nightmare, quite the opposite really. You wake up from a dream INTO the nightmare which is now the reality you have to face. =o(

Pissed Off

Some people could be insensitive jerks. I hate those people who try to lift themselves up by putting other people down. They think they are so cool but in reality they are just insecure morons who needs constant validation to be happy. They are so full of themselves —- they think they are the only people who matter in order for the earth to continue revolving. But truth be told, they are just living their pathetic little lives with no material consequence whatsoever. I wish they could see themselves for what they really are.

Complacency

All my life, I have never been ambitious — not in my studies, not in the workplace, not in winning awards/contest. I guess I lack that certain gene in my body. Oh, I have high hopes and dreams for my family, loved ones, friends and even for our country but none really for me. When you'd ask me, I'd say I like this and that. But I'd mean those halfheartedly. I want things, yes, but not enough to pursue it with zeal. If it happens, thank you. If not, it's not gonna leave me disappointed. I'm kinda complacent. In a way, I am easily contented. It doesn't take much for me to be happy (translation : mababaw ako). I guess that's it : I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

Something’s wrong with me

I'm not normal

The Libra in Me

I don't wanna sound like a braggart but I give good advices. My friends and relatives say so. They seek out my advice when they have an important decision to make. They say may advices are sound, logical and reasonable. The problem is that I don't follow my own advices (note to everyone : follow what I say not what I do =oP) I know admitting that could damage my credibility but that's the truth. You might ask why I don't follow them. Because :

• in my mind, I could reason out against the advice I gave
• I cannot apply it my situation because it is more complicated (so I say)

In retrospect, the problem is not me not walking the talk but more on my being so indecisive.

T(he)-Bills

I'm now in charge of paying our household bills. I didn't know it was quite a lot (electricity, phone, cable, water, etc.) and I didn't know it was that expensive (we're talking about major moolah here and not just chump change). Paying these bills would make you think that I'd now be more prudent or frugal in using these resources. NOT!!! My reason : since I'm paying for it, might as well use it to my heart's content. But I can now relate when my friends gripe about the high cost of utilities. I admit, I'm domestically challenged but I'm learning — at least on the economics side of it.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…..

My fave time of year is Christmas. I love it more than my birthday. Why? Because christmas is ….. well, CHRISTMAS! I'm not only excited by the actual day itself but also the days leading to it. If the current month ends with BER, it's a sign that Christmas is fast approaching.

I just love the smell of the cold air at night — perfect time to cuddle with someone.

I love the twinkling lights you see in the trees, houses and establishments. It brings back happy childhood memories.

I love the sound of carols being played everywhere. It puts me in a jolly mood.

I love giving gifts to my loved ones and friends. Shopping galore!

During the season, I've noticed that people become more friendly, considerate and kind. Now who doesn't like that? =o)

I owe, I owe, so off to work I go

Work, work, work. I am so swamped with work right now. I work till late in the evenings. I work during Saturdays, Sundays and can you believe this…. holidays! Don't worry, this is not a regular thing. I cannot stress enough the importance and urgency of this project I am working on. So important, that if things don't work out, the company could lose its license to operate and people could go to jail (not kidding). So urgent, that everything was needed last week. The work per se is not really that hard but it is plenty and i do mean stacks! You have to be fast and accurate. My users/customers are demanding in way that is understandable because of what is at stake. So Murphy (as in murphy's law), please don't get in our way =oP