Muddling Through

The hardest question a person could ask me right now is "how are you?". How am I? I don't even know myself. I could also be so trivial say I'm OK but I'm not. But I am not also a total wreck (though sometimes it feels as if I am — inwardly that is). They best vague answer I could give is that I am coping. Coping with the storm of emotions raging inside me. Coping with all the issues that keeps cropping up left and right. Coping with the people I have to "handle" (but how do you handle oneself?). It's a good thing I've learned how to compartmentalize my emotions or everything would be a total chaos. But truth be said, I deliberately go way off tangent once in a while just to keep myself sane. =oP

Hairy Issues

They say when a girl/woman has a problem, the first thing she tinkers about is her hair. She has it cut, permed, rebonded, relaxed, etc. I've had 2 haircuts in a span of a week. What does that say about me? What if I told you that I also plan to have my hair colored and have it treated with hot oil? I also want to have a full body massage and a facial. I want to undergo all these girly pampering treatments, but I can't. Not because of anything but because I don't have the time. Time is a rare commodity for me nowadays. I have a lot of more important things to do with my time. Maybe when the "issues" die down or gets settled, I'll be able to. Yeah right, keep on dreaming.

Life in Question

Why are our lives so important? That's not a rhetorical question. What is the significance of the lives that we live? If going to heaven is the ultimate destination, why are we so hell-bent (pun intended) on staying here on earth? Why not die young and blameless so that we are assured of going to paradise?

End of the Road

We are all gonna die. That's a fact of life. Nobody can escape this. It's just a matter of when and how. Almost everybody I know is afraid to die. They are afraid of the pain that usually accompanies death. Would it be excruciating or mind numbing? They are also afraid of the pain and anguish they are going to inflict to their loved ones upon their demise.

Some are not yet prepared. They still have a lot of things they haven't done. There are a lot more to accomplish. They have not yet fully enjoyed/lived their life.

Others are uncertain where they will go after they die. Will they go to hell —- no hope, eternal damnation. Will they go to purgatory as part of their cleansing? For how long? What is the purification ritual? What about for those people who don't believe in life after death? Their belief is that life is the endgame. They fade into nothingness upon death. How sad…..

Life’s Learning Process

Life sucks. Why is it that we are given the test first, the lesson afterwards. Shouldn't it be : present the lesson first, have a review then take the test afterwards, just like in class? It's not fair. In some instances, when you fail the test, you can't make up for it anymore. No re-takes. You are marked for life. Why do we know the value of something only after we've lost it? Can't we just intrinsically know its importance from the start so that there would be no regrets? Can't a bell toll if we are taking things for granted? I guess that's life learning process. Life must be lived forward, understood backwards………